


Twelve Days of Time Travel

by AslansCompass



Category: Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Christmas, Classic Who Secret Santa 2018, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-27 16:19:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17165222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AslansCompass/pseuds/AslansCompass
Summary: A collection of drabbles based on "The Twelve Days of Christmas.





	1. Drummers Drumming

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hellmandraws](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellmandraws/gifts).



The beast shrieked in terror, pink tentacles curling up protectively.  
"That's it," the Doctor called. "Keep it up, men."  
The drummers kept beating, pounding out a rhythm that shook the air. The creature shuddered, shrinking back.   
"Almost done."  
In only a few more measures, the creature turned and slunk away, disappearing into its den.   
"Alright, that's enough now," the Doctor turned to Evelyn. "See? Safely returned to its home."  
"I still don't understand why that worked."   
"The cybex's main predators use sonic vibrations to stun their prey. The creature thought it was under attack, so it ran home. Simple, really."


	2. Pipers Piping

Evelyn held both hands over her ears. "I didn't think anything could be worse than bagpipes, but those--"  
"What?" The Doctor turned towards her. He wore a huge set of fluffy, cat-ear ear muffs that matched his pin.   
"I said, how do we make it stop?"  
"What?"  
"HOW DO WE STOP IT?"  
"I can't hear you!"  
"HOW DO WE STOP--" The instruments stopped in the middle of an excessively long note.  
"Well, that's better." Evelyn sighed in relief as the choir director approached. "That was lovely, really, very nice, but--"  
"But that was just a brief prelude," the alien replied.


	3. Lords a-Leaping

"And that, Evelyn, is how the people of Casilaba select their leader when the old one dies."  
"A field day?"  
"Well, that's one way of looking at it. Some of the events might look a little different, but it's similar goals--who can run fastest, jump highest, etc."  
One of the Casilabans came up to the Doctor. "Come along now, it's time for the wable balance."  
"What--but--I'm not!"  
"As chief witness to the Primary's death, you must compete in all events."  
"What? But I can't--I'm not, it's completely impossible. I'm not even the right species. I can't wable. Physically can't!"


	4. Ladies Dancing

The streets of Strasbourg were packed with dancers. The late July heat stank of sweat, manure, and wine. "It's like a pop concert," Evelyn wrinkled her nose. "Only with more pigs and horses. Though there was that one time when I was in fifth form..."  
"It's slightly more serious than that, I'm afraid," the Doctor said. "Dozens of people die of exhaustion. Even in your time, they never figure out what caused it. Since we're here anyway, I might as well have a look around."  
"I'm game if you are."  
"Right. Let's be off. No fancy footwork, if you please."


	5. Maids a-Milking

"That is not a cow."  
"Well, no. But even on your planet, not all milk is from a cow. Some people drink goat's or sheep's or even horse's milk. You know, we should visit the Mongols sometime. They have this lovely drink made from fermented mare's milk,"  
"Doctor, I'm going to stop you right there. I know you've probably had all sorts of wild, alien foods, but when it comes to baking, you stick with the essentials. And I want cow's milk."  
"Oh, come on, Evelyn."  
"My chocolate cake calls for cow's milk. No cow's milk, no cake." Evelyn declared.


	6. Swans a-Swimming

"How did these birds get in the TARDIS?"  
"I don't know, I thought you did?"  
"Why would I invite a flock of swans into my ship?"  
"I don't know, do you always have a reason? Sometimes I wonder about you,"   
The Doctor spread his hands wide. "Of course I do. It's just that I don't always need to explain myself to tiny human minds."  
"Tiny human minds, is it? Well, let me tell you something, Doctor--shoo!" Evelyn muttered as one of the birds started nibbling on her cardigan buttons. "I can tell you--achoo!" she sneezed, "These feathers tickle something fierce!"


	7. Geese a-Laying

"What is it this time?"   
"Eggs. I need eggs." Evelyn waved her spoon in front of his face. "And I mean chicken eggs, before you ask. Not caviar or frog eggs or ostrich eggs. Plain, ordinary chicken eggs."  
"Would goose do?"He asked her.  
"Why do you have goose eggs?"  
"You know, I'm not entirely sure. I think it was a joke one time. Something about minor concussions." The Doctor scratched his head. "Anyway, I'm sure they'll work out just fine."  
"They'd better," Evelyn told him. "I didn't put all this work into the cake just to have it ruined now."


	8. Gold Rings

"High time I sorted this out," Evleyn muttered to herself, dumping the contents on her purse onto the bedside table. She carefully set aside the prescription bottle, immediately returning it to the zippered pocket inside. "Could use some more chocolate," she reminded herself. "Never hurts to have a bribe on hand."  
Evelyn turned her purse upside down and shook it. Out dropped a small golden ring, intricately inscribed with strange vines and patterns. As she looked at it, the translator matrix kicked in, revealing a hauki-like poem about warm summer days. At least, that was the image it gave her.


	9. Calling Birds

"Doctor, your phone is ringing." Evelyn glanced around the console room. "Do you even have a phone?"

"Course I do. People do need to get hold of me from time to time." The Doctor reached behind one of the hexagons in the near wall and pulled out a phone. "Hello there, Doctor speaking, who's calling?"

A projection appeared above the device. The creature had a long, trumpet-like beak. "This is Prime Secretary Morrighan. Would you be interested in donating to--"

The hologram flickered off. "How'd they even get this number?" The Doctor mumbled. "I don't need calls from dubious charities."


	10. French Hens

It's not all running about and wild adventures. Today, the Doctor and Evelyn are enjoying a quiet dinner in 19th-century Paris Just over the road, the Eiffel Tower is under construction. The first level was completed just over a month ago; scaffolding is already underway for the second. Even in Evelyn's time, the Tower is the tallest building in Paris, but prior to skyscrapers and TV antennas, it draws attention remarkably.  
"That was delightful," Evelyn watched the sunset. "I don't think I've ever enjoyed roast chicken more."   
"Oh, just the meal? Not the company?" The Doctor pretended to be offended.


	11. Turtledoves

"The space station Caroll is known for its imaginative take on Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass," the Doctor explained to Evelyn as they entered the main lobby. "With some truly amusing puns. And, best of all, they don't make the foolish mistake of combining the Red Queen with the Queen of Hearts."

"They aren't the same person? Give me a good Poirot any day." Evelyn glanced over at a shallow pond. "What kind of plant is it? That white feathery thing on those grey rocks?"

"No. those are the turtle doves."

"Turtle... doves." Evelyn repeated slowly. "Seriously?"


	12. Partridge in a Pear Tree

"I didn't know you had a garden in the TARDIS."  
"Yes, well, it's not very exciting, is it? Most of my friends just want to get out and see places, do things, overthrow evil regimes... not just deadhead flowers."  
"They're missing out." Evelyn said. "Come on, sit down. I have chocolate."  
The Doctor sat down next to Evelyn. "Don't mind if I do.If you have some bread, we could see what sort of creatures are in here?"  
"Don't you know?"   
"Well, it's really a miniature ecosystem in here. I know there's some birds in here, probably a couple of squirrels..."


End file.
